Rachael Jesse

Beauty

I was wandering about the forest one night when a fairy stepped into my path. The fae man was tall, elegant, and ethereal; why would such a beautiful creature trouble himself with me. He stepped close to me, our eyes were within inches of each other and  held my gaze as he slowly leaned forward.
His lips brushed my ear like delicate butterfly wings when he said, “Beautiful girl, I have something to give you. It may be considered a curse and it may be considered a blessing. I give to you the gift of eternal beauty but in return I ask of you a favor. Do you accept?”
I could only mutely nod my head. He was such a lovely being.
“Good. On the eve of your 21st birthday I want you to come to this same forest and in this same spot I shall ask my favor of you.” he whispered into my ear. The moment he finished his sentence he disappeared.
I ran as if the Hounds of Hell were chasing me back to my village. Did the fairy man really give me eternal beauty? I dug out my disused mirror and was about to look at my reflection when I stopped. What if I wasn’t beautiful what if I was my ugly self, I didn’t want to be disappointed yet again. I closed my eyes and put the mirror in front of my face. I counted to three to prepare myself for what I would see and I opened my eyes. The person in the mirror was stunning. She couldn’t be me could she?
For the first time in years, I slept well. No nightmares or worries just peaceful sleep. The beauty was already a blessing. In the morning I put my best dress on to show off my new self and the instant I stepped out of the doorway I was noticed. Instead of being ignored like I had for my whole life, people noticed me. They said hello and held conversations with me and men actually looked at me. I felt loved.
But soon the feeling of love was replaced with desire and then by greed. Men started to give horrible looks in my direction, they would grab at me and demand things of me. Women became jealous thinking I would steal their husbands from them. Instead of greeting me on the street people would watch me walk past then talk behind their hands about me. It had been almost a year since the fairy man had given me this gift. In the beginning it had been a wonderful blessing but within a short period of time it had turned into a curse.
The day before my 21st birthday soon came. I was afraid of going outside since peopled had started to leer at me so I waited all day in my cabin for the night. When the moon rose I left my cabin and entered the forest. I quickly walked to the place where I had been burdened with beauty and when I approached the spot the man was standing there facing me. He was still as celestial looking as the last time.
“So what do you think of your beauty?”
“I hate it, but a bargain is a bargain. What is your favor?”
“I ask for your hand in marriage.”
I can only stare at him with my mouth gaping open. How could a being as regal as him want me as a wife?
“Uuuuhhhhmmm...W-w-why?” I barely stutter out.
“I have watched you everyday since I gave you the gift. Everyday the people became even more brutal I thought you might break. But instead of relinquishing your life to those nasty people you continued living. You held your head high and ignored them. I have been searching my entire life for a strong woman like you.”
I look at the ground as I process what he has said. “You are wrong, I’m not strong. Every time I heard a terrible comment about myself it cut my soul. I have gotten to the point of hiding from them.” I whisper to the ground.
“Ah. You are mistaken. Only a strong person would be able to admit to being weak.”

“Ignorance, the root and stem of all evil.”

-Plato

“Honey there aren't’ any monsters under the bed. There is no such thing as monsters. Go. To. Bed.”

“Okay mommy...” The little boy shuffles back to his bed and sits in the very center of the mattress. He hears a rustle and a scrape come from under him. They were coming again. He cowers under his blanket, clutching his teddy bear cose.
12 years later...
The same boy is standing in the doorway of his parents’ house. He was finally able to leave. The boy had started to hate his parents the moment they sent him back to his bed, back to the monsters hidden under it. Because of their stupidity he was the man he was today; cruel and uncaring. He hated them so much.
Later that night...
“Come out, come out wherever you are. Boogie, get your butt out here.”
“Hello boy. I was wondering when you would come for me. Do you think you are strong enough to get revenge for all the nights of terror my minions gave you? Because I don’t think you are.” the boogie man says with a cruel chuckle.
The boy gives him a toothy smile and replies. “ I’m going to take your place Boogie. I’m going to become the new boss of the world of darkness.” And when he finished his monologue he shot the Boogie man in the head.
The Boogie man fell to the ground and a pool of blood surrounded him. The boy walked up to the carcass and looked down at his old tormentor. “And now begins the reign of Markus.”

Close Encounters of the Galactic Runner

Oh shit! Oh shit! My spaceship, my wonderful black P-16, is being shot by those idiots. HOW DARE THEY!!!!

The ship lurched and shook as yet another blast hit it. An entire fleet of Syrion figher ships were pursuing the P-16 across space.

Okay...Shit, the ship rocks back and forth, okay I can do this. All I have to do is pull a mind-blowing maneuver to save my sorry butt. A blue light joins all the red flashing lights on her control panel. YES! There’s  planet nearby. The pilot flips a switch and punches some things into the ship’s computer.  An image of a tall being with red skin, white hair, and yellow cat like eyes appears on the screen followed by  pages of words. Even better, it’s hospitable to me. I just might live another day.

She flips a few more switches, grabs the control stick with one hand and with the other she presses and big yellow button on the dash. The ship bursts forward and she grips the stick trying to get to the planet before the Syrions killed her. That was the last of my go-go juice, please gods let me live. I promise I’ll try to be a better person from now on. She pulls the control sharply to the left and then goes up. The ships behind her are slow to react. Here’s my window of chance.

She’s close enough to the planet now that it’s gravitational pole has caught her. Almost there. The ship is rocketing through the atmospheres. Crap. Holy mother of a two-headed dog. I’m screwed. I need to slow down, fast. Oh gods, I’m going to end up an insignificant smear on this planet’s surface. She roughly pulls back on the stick. Come on . Come on beautiful, I know

you don’t want me to die. Come on, SLOW DOWN!!!  

The ship slowly pulls out of it’s fast free-fall to the planet’s surface, when it was a mile from crashing it finally leveled out. Holy shit. That was a little too close. Beep! Beep! Beep! An alarm goes off inside the ship. She looks at the flashing computer screen and finds that  a Syrion ship had followed her to the planet. Only one, pshh I can deal with that. The other ship fires at her and hits close to the cockpit and causes the ship to shake. Another alarm joins the first. Oh crap. I have to get rid of him fast before my baby quits on me. Okay, what the heck am I going to do... The other ship fires at her again and she sees a streak of red go by her ship. Thank you for missing. She flips a switch on the dash and prepares her weapons. Hehe now I’ll show you mine big boy. The cross hairs of her gun are locked on the ship. And now, good-bye. She presses the red button on the control stick and a blast of colored light shoots toward the offending ship. The blast hits the left wing of the ship causing it spin and crash into the ground. She watches long enough to see the ship burst into flames then turns her attention to her poor ship.

By now there was a symphony of alarms going off in the cockpit and lights flashing. She smells something burning and looks to her right. Oh. Crap. The wing was leaving a trail of smoke.

“You are in Tarloc airspace. State your name, cargo, documents, and reasons.” a monotonous voice said through her headset.

“This is Abir Roth. There is no cargo, I am here for recreational  reasons.”  She sent them her documents.

Come on baby stay in one piece until I get you docked. A few minutes later the same bland voice tells her, “Okay you are cleared to land. Go to dock 13.”
Time for the awesome camouflage J made me. She presses a series of icons on the screen in front of her while gently steers the remaining pieces of her ship to the hanger and lands at her assigned dock. Out her window she can see a group of armed people waiting for her to get out. Oh boy, I’m so lucky. I have my own personal welcoming committee. She slowly turns off all the alarms and lights in the ship and eventually shuts off the engine. The cockpit opens and she jumps the ten feet to the ground landing agilely on her feet. Yeah, that’s right I’m a badass.

“Is this your freighter?”the man in front asks her.

What freighter? Abir turns to look at her poor P-16 fighter to see a dilapidated old freighter, with peeling blue paint. Holy crap. J’s camouflage is amazing.
“Yes. That’s mine.”
A few of the men snicker at the dilapidated craft. “Well, we need to go in and check your cargo.”
Oh shit. “Be my guest, but I’m warning you, I’ve got a shipment of Kargols. And you wouldn’t believe how much they stink, but it’s your nose so go right ahead.”
The man casts leery eye towards the ship and says, “On second thought, Jakar, you take a look.”
A man, hardly more than a boy, was roughly pushed to the front of the group of guys. He didn’t even have a beard. The poor idiot is the butt-monkey of this group.
“U-u-ugh sir, do I... have to?” Ah what the heck I’ll save his sorry butt. I’m feeling generous since I’m not dead. Thank the gods.
“Mister I wouldn’t let the boy near them if I were you. Some of the Kargols have a mean streak and will sooner eat him than look at him.”
“S-s-s-sir!”
“Fine Jakar. Miss, if you do anything against our laws you will be arrested and tried with our judges. And we show no mercy.” the leader said with an evil smile.
“Gee, I’ll be on my best behavior mister.” Abir replied with a salute.
The man glared at me and his men snicker while they walk away.
“Buh-bye boys!” Abir turns to her ruined ship and heaves a huge sigh. I guess it’s time for me to contact J. Hopefully he’ll bail my sorry butt out of my current predicament. She rummaged around her jacket pockets to find her communicator. Oh I have a few missed messages, must have been when I was fighting. The communicator beeps. Fancy that, it’s J.
“Hello gorgeous, I have a few favors to ask you,” Abir says with a giant smile on her face.
“Why the hell haven’t you answered me! I have called you a million times! Favors... What do you mean, a few favors? You’ve killed the ship! Haven’t you!!”
“Well technically my ship isn’t dead, just a little beat up.”
“What have you done? I finally finished fixing it from your last...no don’t say you had another fight. Tell me you just hit the top of a tree while doing one of your evasive maneuvers practices .”
“Well I could say that. But it wouldn’t be the truth. And Mama always told me to tell the truth.”
“Come on Sparky! I’m getting you a new profession as of now.”
“Well while you’re doing that would you mind coming to Tarloc. I’ll be waiting for you at the Dry Dock.”
“Wait a second, don’t you hang up on me!” But Abir was already hitting the end call button. Hmm, is that a new scratch on the screen? Might as well go get a drink at the Dry Dock while I’m waiting for him.
She slides the communicator back into her jacket pocket and starts walking toward her favorite bar in Tarloc.

Outside the bar there was a few scantily clad women trying to sell themselves to every man that walked by. Abir walked up to the bar and was instantly bombarded by the prostitutes.

“Hello darling,” cooed a woman who’s body was hardly covered, “Oh, never mind. False alarm ladies.” Then all the women went back to trolling for men.
I don’t know whether I should be grossed out or feel complimented. No that was definitely disturbing. Do I really look that much like a man?
As she walked through the door to the Dry Dock bar, she was buffeted by the smell of liquor, sweaty men, and loud obnoxious voices. Ah, I’m home. Abir immediately went to the bar for a much needed drink after yet another near death experience. She shoved her way to the front to order her drink using her elbows and hitting any guy that was dumb enough to stand between her and her drink.
“Hey Gio, can you get me an alien brain hemorrhage please?” She says as sweetly as possible when she gets the bartenders attention.
“Haha sure babe,” he says with an easy smile, “I haven’t seen you in a while, what asteroid have you been hiding yourself on?”
“Oh you know, I’ve been here and there. I have to avoid all the men I piss off.” Abir says with an answering smile.
“Here you go sugar. Be careful tonight, there’s been a few bar fights already. I don’t want my rose getting hurt.”
“You are such a flirt.” She rolls her eyes as she takes her favorite drink and heads toward the empty table in the corner of the fine establishment.

As she sashayed to her table she caught a few men giving her a once over. Too bad none of them are good looking. I have an itch I need to scratch. Abir dramatically swings her long coat around and daintily sits down on the stained wooden chair. She glares at a few of the men until they back down and return to their drinks. I hope J gets here soon.

She takes a sip of her drink and watches the motley crowd of beings mill about the bar laughing, yelling, and scheming. Gio makes the best drink ever, mmm so delicious. Abir watched a group of people that had just entered the bar walk to the last empty table. They sat forward in their chairs and talked in hushed tones. She tried to hear what they were saying but the noise of the bar was too loud. Hmmm... That man looks familiar. Where have I seen him before? She sees the flash of a smile and the profile of the man that had captured her attention and finally remembers him. It’s Adrian! Man, I can’t believe it took me that long to recognize him. I feel a little sheepish.
Abir flips open her communicator and types a message to him but makes sure that her number is blocked. I think it’s time to troll my friend. Her message to him read, “Adrian, what a lovely group of friends you are with at the bar. But the one to your right must die, so I suggest you leave before you get dirty. Have a nice day.” When he opens the message he eyes go wide, then he looks around and smiles; and goes back to his conversation. What the hell?!? All I get is a smile? The next thing she sends him was, “Fine, I warned you.” She gets up and walks to a place closer to his table. He reads the message contemplates it for a moment and moves to show the man on his right. Abir swiftly goes up behind him and places one of her blasters in the small of his back. He freezes in place, along with the other people at his table.
She leans in and whispers in his ear, “Now darling, you know I was only joking.”
Adrian quickly slips out from in front of her gun, grabs her neck, and pins her arms behind her back. Ha, he’s still my slippery little minx.
“Who the heck do you think you are?! I’m going to...Abir?”
“How could you tell?”
“Well the fact that you sent me something like this and didn’t just come over and say hi like a normal friend.”
“Psh none of our friends would have done that. Are you going to invite me to join your party or are you going to hold me like this forever?”
“Well I rather like this position.”
“Adrian.”
“Oh fine. Abir would you care to join us?”
Men talk too much, seriously I’ve been sitting here for TWO HOURS, I think, and they haven’t even let me get a word in edgewise. What the hell is the matter with them? I am a perfectly eligible woman sitting amongst them and all they do is talk about stupid stuff like what they are shipping and their current jobs. The least they could do would be to entertain me with tales of their bravery and valor while escaping people that wanted to kill them. Ugh, men. Such boring creatures. I hope J gets here soon.
Abir had been sitting at the table with Adrian and his hoard of men for a considerably short amount of time, bored beyond tears, wishing for something to distract. Her hand reflexively fell to the blaster at her hip, toying with the leather holster as her eyes wandered the crowded bar. A few people watched her and the table of men with interest, though when they met her eyes and saw her fiddling with the gun, they feigned disinterest. Hmmmmm... Wonder what is so important about the boys. She raised her glass to her lips to find that her elixir of sanity had been drained. Ah shit, now I have to wade through that group of idiots again to get another drink. Pity I can’t just shoot them all to get to Gio and my next drink.
A sudden evil light fills her eyes as a wonderfully devilish idea enters her train of thought. She turns to Adrian with a pout adorning her face and runs her hand down the length of his arm as she leans in and whispers in his ear, “It seems that I’ve finished my drink, Adrian, would you like me to get you another one also when I get mine?” She heaves a pretty sigh to add to her little show, while inwardly she is laughing maniacally at his incredulous look along with the men surrounding the table.
“U-u-ugh sure.” he stutters out as he stares at her in confusion, wondering what the hell she was up to.
“What can I get you?” she says with a sweet smile.
“A five-tailed darlag.”
Abir smiles innocently as she rises from her chair to get their drinks. “Would any of you gentleman like me to get you something to drink?” The men all shake their heads profusely while continuing to ogle her.
“Be back ASAP my duckies.” She cooes  while wiggling her fingers at them.
She walks to the bar with a shit eating grin covering her face from ear to ear. Serves the little bugger right for not entertaining me. She rifles through Adrian’s considerably fat wallet looking for some money to buy their drinks with. Why the hell does he have all this crap in his wallet  for?! Seriously does this miser keep every little scrap of paper he is given? AH-HA! Bingo, finally I’ve found the mula.  She uses tooth and nail to make it back to the bar and her lovely friend the bartender.
An incoherent yell breaks through the noise of the bar reaching her ears. The grin on her face grows even bigger because she knows that it was Adrian finding out that his wallet had been filched. Moments later her communicator rang with a message. And there he is on cue. She flipped it open to read Adrian’s message.What it contained caused her to break out in peals of laughter, making all the people around her shrink back and cast weary looks at her, thinking she was some deranged lunatic. That wasn’t very nice of him. Oooh! Goody a pathway. I don’t think I’ll even acknowledge him, that should really tick him off.
She marched right up to the bar and the smiling Gio. Now what do I want to drink? When she flashed a dazzling smile at her current favorite man in the world he burst out laughing.
“I believe that little yell just now was your doing?” He chuckles.
“Now baby, you know I’m a lady and don’t cause commotion.” She purrs. “May I have a five-tailed darlag and a hyperspeed, please?”
“Sure, you’re a lady and I’m a freaking sparkling fairy that flies.”
“I’m deeply hurt you don’t believe me. Oh and while I have the money I think I’ll pay for my last drink.”
Gio raises his eyebrow in answer while he mixed the drinks. As he hands her the drinks he gives her a little reprimand “Here, but no more drinks for you, I remember the last time you got drunk at the Dry Dock. I was still cleaning up the mess a week after you left.”
“Come on! That was so not my fault, you would have hit the idiot that made you spill your drink too.”

“Be that as it may, I am not cleaning up another of your frequent messes.”

“Fine, but I’m only stopping because I need to keep my head clear for later on today.”
He rolls his eyes and flashes her a grin before turning to the next customer. It’s scary that he knows me so well. As she headed back to the table she sidestepped  two people caught up in a tight embrace and skirts  around the edge of a loud argument. Damn, I forgot how hard it is to transport one’s liquor around this fine establishment. A chair falls to the ground in front of her, but she deftly jumps over it without spilling one drop of the precious drinks. I’m so skillful I should become a dancer, though that probably would get boring after a while. And I bet they are all snobs. She continues to carefully pick her way through the rabble in the bar to get back to her table.
Upon reaching the table she delicately sets Adrian’s drink in front of him and sticks his wallet under his nose.
“Did you lose something love?” She crows in delight even making the stuffy guys huddled around the table laugh.
Adrian growls and swipes at his wallet, but Abir pulls it out of his reach. This little exchange caused the men to laugh even harder. Glad to know they actually have a sense of humor. She then opens Adrian’s coat to put the wallet in the interior breast pocket.
“There, that’s a much safer place to have it, well unless you go embracing some tramp, them nothing of yours is safe.” She tells him as she pats the pocket. He just glares at her.
“Is something the matter sugar?”
Adrian harrumphs and turns to his drink for solace from Abir and the group of men still laughing at their little spectacle. Oh well, once he finishes his drinks he’ll be in good humor again. She smirks as she settles back into her chair.

“So Abir, what are you doing in Tarloc? I thought that you were supposed to be in Syrion?”

Finally someone is including me in the conversation, no thanks to Adrian. “Well I was in Syrion until a few hours ago, I had to pull an emergency landing here. Now I’m waiting for a friend to come and fix my ship.”
Adrian turns to face her and gives her a look that said he still wasn’t happy with her. “So you’re dragging poor J all the way across space to put together you piece of crap. You always need to be saved and have your ship repaired.” He turns back to his drink and pointedly starts another conversation with the man on his left.
“What were you doing in Syrion?” The guy with the incredibly bushy beard asks. I bet he could hide a cat in that nasty thing hanging on his face.
“Um... Well, I took up a contract to bring back Yosep to Imters.”
“What was the only heir to the Imters crown doing in Syrion?!”
“Long story short, he’s a teenager. Duh, of course he’s going to do stupid things. Evidently Daddy didn’t like the girl Yosep was seeing, so Yosep threw a giant B.F. and stowed away on a transporter to Syrion, where he was left stranded. The king then put a contract up for someone to bring his son back to him. Turns out the girl he had a thing with was Emperor Jalin’s daughter-”
Half way through her sentence the man to her guy to her right interrupts, “Let me guess, Jalin then sent his entire cavalry after you when you tried to get the boy. But since most of the idiots in that army are piss poor shots, your ship is only in ruins and you are here to tell the tale.”
“I could tell my story if somebody wouldn’t interrupt me. But yes that is the basic jist of what happened, minus a few details.”
“Details?”
“Uh-yeah,” Abir slouches down in her seat and tries to hide her blush. Thankfully the bar’s lighting was really poor, “I had to persuade a few people to let me in the castle and a few other things. No big deal.”
The man sitting beside her raises his eyebrow and gives a wolfish grin, probably trying to imagine some of the “details” she didn’t tell them about. It’s not like I have to tell them, it’s way too embarrassing. Adrian definitely can’t find out! Why did the gods let me do those things.
777777777777
Four days earlier...
BANG!! BANG! Abir shot straight up in her bed, hand reflexively going to the blaster and set of knives she always keeps under her pillows. What the HELL!?! With a gun in one hand and a dagger in the other she slid out of bed and tiptoed towards the door leading to the rest of the apartment. Did that come from my living room or kitchen? Carefully easing the door open, peeking to see if there was someone in the room she found the room in disarray with blankets, papers, and books strewn about the floor and furniture. What were they looking for? I’m going to kill whoever did this. She heard something clatter in the kitchen followed by a string of muffled curses. Got you now bastard.
Abir ran to her kitchen and stops in the doorway with her gun pointed at the perpetrator who appeared to be trying to cook something.
“Damn it J! Why? I could have killed you! Why the hell is there a mess in my living room?!”
The man in front of the stove spins around, hand going to the knife by the stove, but he slips on a stray piece of paper on the floor and topples to the ground landing in an undignified heap.
“More importantly, what are you doing in my house?!?!”
“Shit Abir, don’t sneak up on my like that!” J gets up and returns to whatever he was cooking. He looks over his shoulder, giving her a sheepish grin, “Well, Wey and I had a little argument last night, and he kinda kicked me out of my place. I figured I would just crash at here. You didn’t answer your phone or the door, so I just let myself in.”
“Wait a second, you mean to tell me that Wey kicked you out of your own apartment, that he does not own what-so-ever, and you thought that you could just come and make a mess here? What did you guys even fight about?”

“You know Wey. He has a different girl in his bed each week. I came home from a hard day of work to find him banging her IN MY BED!!! So I blew up on him and threw the chick out of the apartment, which made Wey mad. So he let that woman back into our place and kicked me out.”

“Well why didn’t you go back in and beat the shit out of him?”
“He threatened to destroy the blueprints to my new invention, which he has hid. The bastard also said he won’t give it back to me till I apologize to him.”
“Really? You left another blueprint out for him to hold ransom? I thought you would have known by now! Do you not remember the Mila incident? Whatever. I’m going to go shower, when I get out of my room I want everything picked up and breakfast to be sitting on the table waiting for me.” Abir raises her knife threateningly and says with ferocity, “Or else” then marches to her room to relieve the stress that J created via a hot shower.
Thirty minutes later Abir was sitting in her kitchen waiting for J to feed her. He fiddled around the stove then walked over and presented her with the plate of hot food. That sarcastic little twerp! Her plate contained a pancake with egg eye, a bacon smile, and hash brown hair. He gives her a sweet smile as she looks up at him after ogling her plate then turns toward the stove to finish his meal. Ass.
“This does not put you on my good side.” She grumbled to him before she ate one of the face’s eyes.
He turned back to the table and beamed at her, “ Oh I know that.  That’s why I made you a apple pie.” Oh that boy is good. “I know how much you love them.”
“Okay you are saved. You are lucky you made the pie.” Abir looked around her cramped kitchen for her favorite food only she couldn’t seem to find it. “So where did you put my pie?”
J rolls his eyes and motions towards the oven. “It’s still baking. Eat your breakfast and I may show you the new thing I made for your ship.”
New toy! Abir resembles a vacuum as she inhales all the food on her plate. “What is is?” She mumbles around a mouthful of pancake. Some egg yolk runs down her chin  and drips on the table.
“Ugh. You my dear Abir are a disgusting pig.”
“Yep now that you are finally up to date with how gross I am, finish eating and show me my new toy!”
J started to eat his breakfast even slower just to annoy Abir who had just finished in record time. He slowly lifted his forkful of eggs to his mouth and chewed in slow motion while she watched him eat. In five minutes J had only eaten six mouthfuls of his breakfast. Finally Abir couldn’t take it anymore, she jumped up and grabbed his arm to drag him away from his food.
“ No more. Show me now and then you can eat.”
“B-b-but my food will get cold!” J whined as she drug him away. A single icey glare silenced him. “Okay. It’s in my satchel.”
He shuffles to the couch where his bag sitting on the plush middle cushion. Inside the bags multiple pockets, he pulls a small cylindrical piece of metal.

Dark Dragon

“I assume that you remember the stories of the brave and handsome prince that  kills a dragon to obtain or save a princess, well that’s me. The dragon in the stories is me. Human princes and knights come to my home and demand to fight me in favor of getting a wife. I realize that the stories say that I am killed, but that is not true as you can tell.
There is a far off cave deep in the forest of Baldua located in the land of Sparus that I call home. It is very quaint, with chambers that house my vast book and historic memorabilia collection along with living quarters and a large kitchen. Quite lovely indeed. Anyway, there are many of my kind, I am a Nicarnus dracus, but it seems that when a prince or knight needs a fight I’m the only dragon they come to. It’s really very aggravating. Though with my age, knowledge has come with how to handle my pests.
When I was younger and more tempermental I would fight any fool that came upon my entrance but now I use a riddle to find the idiots from the average men. Those that answer the riddle correctly I fight and those that don’t I send away. Thought for the dolts that constantly bother me, I roast them. The riddle has greatly decreased my fighting, I guess they just don’t educate princes like they used to.
The one thing that has permanently puzzled me for centuries now is why do they come to me for a princess when I have none. It’s really quite ludicrous, why would I a dragon have a princess, they are so loud, annoying, and whiny. They expect to be pampered and waited on hand and foot. I detest those spoiled brats.
It is rather humorous when the nobles demand for the princess, should they win the fight, and I tell them that I don’t have one. The look on their faces is priceless. I’ve put up signs saying that I don’t have a girl and that I don’t want to fight but it doesn’t seem to deter them. I just want to live out my life reading and socializing with my friends, but no you people all have to come and bother me. So, Sir knight now that you know that I don’t have a princess do you still want to hear my riddle and maybe fight?”
“U-u-u-ughm... You don’t have a princess? Well, erm, yeah. I’ll still fight you. What’s the riddle?”
“Very eloquently put my good man. Since you insist upon this stupidity, here is the riddle:
Cannot be seen, cannot be felt, cannot be heard, cannot be smelt. It lies behind the stars and beneath the hills. Ends life and kills laughter. What is it? You have three days to give me the answer. Now leave.”
“In three days time I shall return with the answer and kill you dragon. Mark my words.”
Three days later...
“I have the answer foul beast.”
“Oh really. Well please enlighten me human.”
“It is the god of death.”
The dragon engulfs the knight in flame. As he looked at the charred remains...
“It was the dark you fool.”

Holly

As crowds converge at a checkout line on Black Friday, Holly the cashier faces a customer who is suddenly missing a key item.
“Shoot!!! I forgot the baby griffon for Timmy! Would you wait for me to run and get it?”
“Ummmmm…”
“Thanks!” the frazzled woman says before she literally runs out of the line and rushes to get the griffon for her son.
Great now what am I supposed to do with this hoard of humans while I wait for that woman to come back, Holly thinks to herself.
She contemplates various forms of torture she could perform on a few of the more unsavory humans and debates draining others of their blood.
“Oh my gosh! Thank you sooooo much you are a life saver!”  the woman says between breaths when she comes back lugging a baby griffon as big a golden retriever.
The rest of Holly’s day passes without any more issues, aside from the crying babies and rude customers.
At the end of her shift she clocks out and heads to her apartment above the old magic store intending to sleep till next Saturday. When she walks into her bedroom she finds Hades lounging in her bed.
“Get. Out.”
“Ah come on baby, you know you want me” he says with a devious grin and a smoldering gaze.
“ No.”
Hades slowly gets up from the bed and walks towards her. Once he gets within inches of her he stops and leans down.
“I want you.” he whispers into her ear as he runs his hands through her hair.
Holly shoves him away from her and slips one her knives from their hidden sheaves. She swipes her knife towards his head but he just laughs at her and backs away.
“You are always the warmest host.” he chuckles as she lunges towards him again.
He calmly grabs her hand and pins her to the wall. “Stop it woman. I have a job I need you to do for me.”
“ I would never do anything for you ass-wipe. I don’t  work for gods, do your own dirty work.”
She was no longer in that profession.
Holly immediately sits up in her bed. It was all just a dream...
When she glances to her left she finds a body in lying on her chair. It was just a dream, right?